You do not have to be a perfect parent (now there is an oxymoron) but you do have to be a present parent. They will recognize that it is okay to make mistakes and lose our temper sometimes, but we also acknowledge when we are wrong and try to do better next time. We say our kids succeeded as much in spite of what we did as they did because of what we did.
3 Simple Guilt-Free Ideas For Better Parenting
- Unconditional love.Just having a loving heart and a desire to build a strong family will carry you a long way toward your goal. Your kids will feel your attitude and know that you care about the self-reliant, contributing and responsible adult they will become.
Children at any age feel more confident when they know that adults are in charge and that their environment is predictable and safe. They need to be taught what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and unacceptable, and what is appropriate and inappropriate. You are wise to separate the deed from the doer. A smart kid often makes dumb decisions, love him anyway.
- Set some family rules. Because they will get mixed or conflicting messages from television, magazines and friends, your children need you to set and enforce clear, respectful rules and boundaries. They need to know that you expect them to do their best. By providing this guidance you will help them learn how to be responsible, contributing members of society.
- Have realistic expectations. Expectations are some of the most powerful forces in all of human relationships. They motivate us because they are often tied to our goals. Parental expectations are communicated non-verbally as well as verbally.
A smile, a frown or harsh look can communicate support or suspicion. They can also communicate concern or caution. For more information on non-verbal communication, look for our report on Body Talk at http://amzn.to/kindlebyjudy
As a family, you need to decide what is important to you. Parents who have taken time to figure out what values they want to instill in their children will have an easier time in discipline (guidance).
You can’t have a million little rules or you will all go crazy and nothing will be accomplished. You will spend valuable family time policing and giving orders. Aim for more broad principals and family values so that everyone is clear about expectations of behavior and attitude.
In our family, the important values were the same ones I talk about today with our grandkids and your grand-kids globally. Respect, Responsibility and Resilience. We would then talk in family council on how to handle different situations that would or could arise within those guidelines.
- Is your family consistent in what is appropriate and acceptable behavior?
- If you discipline the deed or behavior not the child, do they know you still love them?
- Will you be willing to try a family council? They work and everyone feels more a part of the team.
Please be sure to claim your free ebook on Using Encouraging Words at http://www.askauntieartichoke.com You will be so glad you did. Sometimes just the way you phrase a remark can make the difference between cooperation and rebellion.